sanguinary creeps take the stage

i haven't a clue on which one I like more. the lighting, i adore. but ahhhh. such frustration.
first time using my Nikon 35mm, film used was TriX B&W

freja,

body, pleez?

bonheur

I am off to PARIS the day after tomorrow.
The mess of emotions in me is simply too much!
I just need to meet some genuine people, which would be good for a change. People who aren't manipulative nor pseudo.. everything, really.
If only i could take refuge in a Gaulish opium den amongst those who lead fervent lives!
Just need a change of scenery, i guess. And a good bone.

such deprivation

thanks to the economic crisis, i will miss out on much needed spooning, groping, cuddling, and kissing.

Lovely, eh?

For God's sake, Alvy, even Freud speaks of a latency period.

saw Annie Hall with my mum yesterday, and it filled and succeeded all my expectations. Out of all directors from the USA, I still do believe he is the best. I first saw his work when i was about ten-ish, when my parents rented Sleeper and we sat and watched it. Though I had trouble feeling comfortable watching scenes that involved the Orgasmatron with my parents, I still though it was just damn wonderful. Well, anyways, after salivating over Annie Hall's one outfit, that one above, I ate some delicious pizza on Focaccia bread and later passed out with my mother.
Quite the evening, really.

post-hysterics

I just saw Before Sunrise. Words canno condense my feelings for this film, truly. It was so genuine, honest, heartfelt, just.. sublime. The way these two people, be them actors or not, looked at each other was something so endearing it brought me to tears. Although I may sound like an emotional wreckage, this film has simply touched me in unimaginable ways. Their conversations, and everything were just so interesting and dynamic and real and just, honest. I thought it was brilliant.
Anyways... Now i will go to watch Annie Hall with my parents, for some more brilliant dialogue and to try to calm down even more from the not-so-brief hysteria that such superficial things had plunged me into.
i shall overcome! i shall overcome! i shall overcome!

just like the many souls before me

i am fucking enraged

My hair has been fucked up, once again, by a team of hair stylists. It is repulsive. I cannot believe I was stupid enough to fall into my mothers' "But it will help you so much, no more frizz, imagine paris!". My hair will be horrid for Paris, not at all how i wanted it. No flapper-esque class, no more messy charm. No, no, no.

I am a fool. A fool with horrible hair.

dandy luvvin~

this boy

he looks like a more dandy version of andrew vanwyngarden. it's lovely. his clothing is lovely. all is lovely!
i think he and i should drink gin in teacups, bake scones, and make sum luvv.

enter my vault..

the second i saw you, Thibault, about ten times larger than your average self in the entrance to ZARA, accompanied by the wonderful Lara Stone, i became numb waist down. Finally, i have found your name, at the wonderful time of 1:30am with a horrid, horrid headache.
Well, me and madison have made a little plan to sleep with him and then steal all his dashing coats. proper, proper class. and stealth.. of course.
ALSO you are french? uhm, whassup..

i will go savour some delicious key lime pie now.. and pretuhnd ima savour yoo boie.
hahah, ehrm.. anywayz. i will return to my adolescent lusting, leave me be

your days of plenty are numbered

I made a lovely purchase around a week ago, and only got to enjoy it the day before yesterday. This past wednesday served as my day of relaxation, in which i cranked up the air conditioning, slipped into my father's massive t-shirt decorated with a Soviet film poster, and watched sum filmz. I begun with The Edukators.
What better way to wake up than to the German language and revolutionary thoughts?
None, i tell you!
Anyways, my father then arrived right in the middle of my having breakfast, which for all you curious ones was 4 pieces of sushi on account of I was much too lazy to cook. He sat with me and watched some of the film, which he very much enjoyed, by the way. Then Madison eventually arrived and we saw Life Aquatic, ate at Denny's, and had a small photo shoot with my VERY lovely Nikon 35mm that used to be my father's.
Yesterday, i went shoppehn with my mum. Which was lovely, and I got some wonderful little pieces. Including these PERFECT boat shoes that I have not stopped wearing.

I'm so Cape Cod~

Haha, something I find quite ironic on account of the whole bourgeois hatin' from The Edukators, that I have been acting somewhat like one for the entire day of yesterday. Sorry, Marx. I hope you remember a year ago this week I was marching down the streets of London yelling "WORKERS, UNITED, WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED"
so.. forgive me, yes?

Well, i'm off to Costco to buy sum food for tonight, that some of my friends will be coming over to celebrate my birthday.

nuage

6 days until Paris. It really is unfortunate how shitty i feel about this whole situation. I can be such a coward sometimes, it's enraging. Too passive, alwayz. damn it

hombre rico

Well some guys try to pick up girls

And get called assholes

never happened to Pablo Picasso

He could walk down your street, and girls could not resist his stare and so

Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole

...song- Pablo Picasso, artist- Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers

y todos que se creen que son artistas..

a todos los chicos y chicas que juran que son los maximos exponentes de la fotografia. no lo son. en absoluto. si necesitan afirmacion, busquen las obras de los que de verdad son.

Man Ray, por ejemplo.

BLOWZ MAI MIND~

wa-ah-aw-woohhwww

I just scoured the internet for the acoustic version of Grizzly Bear's The Knife, and I am very much pleased. I first "heard of them" when i saw a cover of the same song by Zach Condon thanks to La Blogotheque channel on youtube. Then, I saw their own acapella version in another Take-Away Show, and became instantly infatuated. My ears never heard such sublime harmonizing. evuhh. Anyways, though i like very much the albu, version of the song, their acoustic/acapella version has charmed my ears beyond belief.
And FINALLY, i've found the mp3 and downloaded it. How many times have I heard it?
An obscene, obscene, obscene! amount.

my friend Caroline went last night to see them and send me some blackberry messenger voice notes, though i could barely hear them because of all the sand clogging my speakers. Hoorrahh for living in an island! Anyways, i am overwhelmingly envious of her, it's simply mad!

one more thing...

ONE WEEK UNTIL PARIS.

i know this is strange.. but I am oddly terrified of this? I already feel like I am on a cab driving back to CDG airport, leaving Paris. I feel like it's over already. I know, strange, right? I am terrified of it ending and me having to come back to the island and bask in the mediocrity. mehhhhhh. also, i will miss my parents dearly. they really are wonderful. but hopefully they will meet up with me there and we'll chat over cafe au lait and fine gastronomYYy. my mum is itching to take me to her favourite cafes and all. WHUT UH BEATNIK, MUM. and my father simply melts to grab his camera and photograph all he can see.

parisiuhn address

for any of you who are ready to whip out your personalized stationary and write some kind wordzzz, here is my address:

Cecily Carola
c/o Oxbridge Académie de Paris
Lycée Notre-Dame de Sion
61 rue Notre-Dame des Champs
Paris 75006
France

i will most definitely write back, provided i have not overdosed on Ladurée macarons and am lying in vegetable state on my bed. so uhm yeah..

(photo by Doisneau)

franca y honestamente

He llegado a un punto de indiferencia. Que se joda, digo yo! Si los dos quieren ser así como son, pues los dejo. Que se follen y tengan hijos tan retardados como los Hapsburgos, que sé yo que serán. Unos hijos críados en un ambiente de cultura ingenuina, sólo un lenguaje aprendido, idioteces como sólo se encuentra entre los dos, largos silencios, voces falsas, hipocresía, y cobardía. Y yo, me quedo con mis deseos románticos ( o sea, del Romanticismo, no de algo que puede estar en una peli con dos actores de hollywood y un guión fatal), mi verdadero y geniuno amor por la literatura, el CINE, el arte, la moda , la fotografía, la música, etc, etc, etc. Me quedo con mis gustos y cultura avanzados(a) gastronómicos(a), con mis papás y amigos brillantes, leales, y chulísimos, con mi falta de incomodés social. Con mi sentido del humor sin aspectos de inútil pretensión, con mi insaciable hambre por el fervor y la pasión, con mi sensibilidad genuina, y más. Sí, he notado que esto puede sonar muy narcisista, pero en tiempos como estos, necesito este poco de confianza en mi misma para poder sobrevivir.

Cyrano, siempre me identificaré contigo. Siempre! Eres un personaje con quien yo simpatizo muy personalmente, y a quien yo quiero muchísimo.

Con nuestras grandes narices al aire y nuestra originalidad y sensibilidad genuina incesante, lucharemos todos hasta la muerte, por ésta causa!

(photo is a still from Cyrano de Bergerac, the film starring Gerard Depardieu)

sinnful~

male modelz should just rip through my hymen already. especially matvey lykov.


CHEEKBONES AND JAWLINEZ 4evuh

(photo is of matvey lykov and some other male moduhl. i can't remember who took it or what magazine it's from..)

hurd hatfield ownz mah heart

For any of you speakers of the wonderful and eloquent spanish language, i give to you a wee present. well, it's hardly a gift, but here is the link to an essay we had to write for Spanish class on a very influential person in our childhood. naturally, i write about oscar wilde.
here it is..
LINK LINK LINK LINK LINK

(the photograph above is a polaroid taken during some moment of sporadic narcissistic tendencies in my childhood)

Bohemia

By: Dorothy Parker
Authors and actors and artists and such
Never know nothing, and never know much.
Sculptors and singers, and those of their kidney
Tell their affairs from Seattle to Sydney.
Playwrights and poets, and such horse's necks
Start off from anywhere, end up at sex.
Diarists, critics, and similar roe
Never say nothing, and never say no.
People Who Do Things exceed my endurance;
God, for a man that solicits insurance!

(photo of the ever-so-photogenic Lily Cole by Juergen Teller)

observation

they just don't make vampires like they used to. i wish nosferatu would come back and go all german expressionism on edward cullen's ass. that'll show all the twilight fans.

(photo is a still of the film Nosferatu)

orgasmatron

A horribly tragic thing occurred the day before yesterday.
My laptop broke.. somehow, and yes, once again. I've got the Midas touch when it comes to technology, but instead of turning into gold.. they shatter and simply stop working. Yes, i know, very very tragic..
Well, I got off of work an hour ago, and now i am being a lifeless drone and playing games online whilst I should be acting like a diligent student and reading Scarlet Letter. After this, I am going home and my father will teach me the wayz of the 35mm Nikon that he used to use when he was a photographer or the Nuevo Día.. which coincidentally was when he still had a 'fro that could be seen miles away. Anywho, learning that will be fun, then making some more uhmazing egg salad sandwiches (which I discovered I am a beast at making them), watching my spanish sitcom, and passing out. Lovely! Such a fervent life I lead.. hahah

by the way, tell me you're also digging pseudo-annie hall up there.. i know you are

dearest national geographic,

hire me already, jeez

(photos by me, all copyrighted.. i beg you all to pleez not steal)

petty thievery

i am feeling so awfully adolescent today. so many moronic things going on, which i am briskly becoming part of since i frankly have no other choice. this has happened one too many times before, this little conflict i always seem to have. people should, as i mentioned in a previous blog, keep to their own identities and not clash with others'.. it's truly pathetic. but, nonetheless, i am once again trying to compose myself and being the champ' that i am, i will get up on my feet. hopefully, i will manage. if not, some fresh parisian air will assist me in this process. i am determined to make the most of my summer, sans connards. maybe some hymen breakage will do me some good.
speaking of hymen breakage, tonight we will be working in my mum's store for a project some classmates and I have, and the outfit I have chosen to wear is one that bears an uncanny resemblance to a certain character that goes by the name of Dolores Haze. Nabokov's eyes would just water, i tell you!
Well, whilst i try to cope with such surroundings, i will leave you with a little Nabokov quote regarding the release of his novel, Lolita.

"I would say that of all my books Lolita has left me with the most pleasurable afterglow —perhaps because it is the purest of all, the most abstract and carefully contrived. I am probably responsible for the odd fact that people don't seem to name their daughters Lolita any more. I have heard of young female poodles being given that name since 1956, but of no human beings."

(photo is a french poster of the film Lolita, Stanley Kubrick version)